It time for another humorous, if somewhat pointed, look at modern technology, specifically software updates and the (mixed) messages that come with them.
Take for example:
This software update will fix a few security issues.
What it seems to mean:
The update will break all my preset passwords, requiring re-input into ‘settings’.
But, I don’t know all my preset passwords. Either I dig into that secure location where I keep the paper record of the passwords (although I’d don’t have such a thing because it’s a giant security risk), or request password resets, which requires changing the same password on six other devices. Where I can’t remember how to find the setting because…
We’re changed our look.
What it seems to mean:
Everything on the website/app looks completely unfamiliar. I’m disoriented.
If the background was white, now it’s navy blue. The rounded font now is square. The logo is different so I’m not even sure if I have an account, which doesn’t matter because the last security patch erased my password.
I can’t finding things by their location on the screen, because that’s changed too. The menu has moved from the right sidebar to three lines disguised as a decorative doodad at the top of the page.
The marketing team must have decided to rename all the critical functions, so looking for functions by name is pointless.
Shutting down is impossible? The capability has been removed. Who’d want to stop using this brilliant software, anyway?
There’s new functionality, preset to the most intrusive level, so that I suddenly have strange icons clogging my screen when I’m trying to call a critically important client with information they wanted five minutes ago.
All this because…
The software (operating system, word processing, presentation software) is licensed to you free of charge.
What it seems to mean:
The software developer is in command but assures me I’m a valuable customer.
I’m inundated with ‘update your software’ messages. A screen pops up while I’m in the middle of doing something I’ve chosen to, like email my ailing mother, text my member of parliament about internet privacy concerns, or read my son’s report card.
All I have to do to use my free software, on my device, is continually dismiss messages from the software developer. I don’t update because I’m afraid I’ll need a bunch of time to reload my passwords and figure out where all the options are …see above.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad software is updated all the time, otherwise we might be stuck with that annoying paperclip of advice, have our identities stolen, or be able to brew a pot of tea between page loads. Ever advancing software functionality has changed everything over the years in wonderful ways. Embedded video. Autofilled fields. Hyperlinks to automatically put events in your calendar or phone the new restaurant that delivers to your house at the touch of a screen.
Why am I complaining? Humans hate change. C’mon, even those of us who are addicted to change actually hate change if it messes with our routines. Routines make life simple. I don’t want to have to think about where to find the menu on my favourite website because I have better things to do. Like vote on a new logo for my favourite coffee shop.
It’s like old slippers: comfy, cosy, threadbare, faded with a sole that flops around, half unglued. If anyone has the nerve to replace them with a sleek new pair, complete with ultra comfortable memory foam insoles, I’m not happy. Not because the new slippers aren’t nice, have additional features and the old ones were about to disintegrate, but because my brain has to adjust.
Perhaps the answer is software updates so frequent and subtle that we never consciously notice the continuous, small changes. On that point, what did I notice, just yesterday, but a certain browser advertising its features, including continuous updates. If the approach to updates is a marketing point, I’m not the only one who finds the current, prevalent process aggravating.
That’s the miracle of software: if you don’t like the way something works, give it a few months and it will likely change. The update is coming.
Originally posted Posted on February 15, 2017