Slam Poem – ‘Enter Username and Password’

Below is the piece I performed in the finals of the 2013 WCDR Slam competition on July 13, 2013.

Enter Username and Password

USERname –
altered identity for consuming illegal drugs?

userNAME –
Not your full name
Spaces aren’t allowed

PASSword –
the code for access to the secret club.
like the secret facebook club of 4 billion people

passWORD –
a gibberish collection of letters and keystrokes
designed to be impossible to remember.

Enter username and password, to gain access to your ACCOUNT.

An account
which shares none of my personal information.
What’s it an account of?
Not wealth, as the only flow of money when I enter Username and Password is away from me.
And there’s no accounting for taste when I enter my Username and Password late at night on twitter.

I’ve got usernames and passwords for
Four social media sites,
three bank accounts,
utilities,
pension plans,
writing groups,
work,
play,
buying,
bartering,
and stealing.

But I need one more.

Username: I enter my email address.
Someone has that identity.
How to report identity theft?
Find a webform that requests my name,
Enter my email address
Receive a form reply addressed to Dear Mrs. Yahoo
Wonder if they mean the people down the street with the pot plants, rottweiler and neon Bud sign.

Then I remember
Click ‘forgot password’ button.

This is the way to go.
No more reciting the initials of all my ex-boyfriends in chronological order,
Click forgot password and I don’t have to recall anything, including the unfortunate incident with Enrico.

The password police catch on.
Demand capitals, lower case, numbers, symbols and even, spaces.

The bar has been raised.
Password reset denied, it was used six months ago.
How long before my LinkedIn account won’t accept the same password that I use with the phone company?

Yet the sites seem less private all the time.
How does gmail know I am a writer?
Why does google notice when I’m not in Oshawa?
How could facebook know I’m a middle-aged woman with an interest in motorcycles, vampires and home renovations?

Enter username and password?
No, I’ll login as guest.
Enter name and email address.
This is much more civilized.
I think.

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